Why parenting can never have a rule book

Donny Ray Jones on Flickr

As parents, we try to do the best for our children.  We hope are children are successful and happy in whatever they choose to do.  Sometimes however, what parents do has less of an impact than we think; because our children’s genetics also influence how they are parented.

A study reviewed research involving 14,000 twins.  The researchers, from the Hebrew Universityof Jerusalem, looked at parenting from a different perspective. "There is a lot of pressure on parents these days to produce children that excel in everything, socially and academically," says Reut Avinun of the Hebrew University of Jerusalem.  "Since children are not born tabula rasa (with a blank mind), I felt it was important to explore their side of the story, to show how they (children) can affect their environment, and specifically parental behaviour.”  

Donnie Ray Jones on Flickr

The researchers decided to look at identical twins.  “They reasoned that if parents treat identical twins, who share 100 percent of their genes, more similarly than non-identical twins, who share on average 50 percent of their genes, then it suggests that the child's genes shape parenting.”

The researchers estimate that children’s genetics account for parenting differences 23 percent of the time.  Several factors affect the extent to which genetics influence parenting.  For example, the researchers found that a child’s age was an important factor.  "As children become increasingly autonomous, their genetic tendencies are more likely to be able to affect their behaviour, which in turn influences parental behaviour," Avinun says.

Bill & Vicki T on Flickr

The researchers found that parenting differences are also influenced by children’s environments including:

• Socioeconomic status
• Cultural exposure
• School
• Friends

The findings of this study “support the idea that parenting does not necessarily affect children in the same family similarly.”

Regarding the study results, Avinun says, “that parenting should not be viewed solely as a characteristic of the parent, but as something that results from both parental and child attributes."

Jill M on Flickr

Avinun advises parents, "There isn't one style of ideal parenting.  Each child requires a different environment to excel.  So parents should not invest a lot of effort in trying to treat their children similarly, but instead, be aware of the variation in their children's attributes and nurture them accordingly."

The study, "Parenting as a Reaction Evoked by Children's Genotype: A Meta-Analysis of Children-as-Twins Studies”, was published in Personality and Social Psychology Review.

Sources:

Parenting as a Reaction Evoked by Children’s Genotype, A Meta-Analysis of Children-as-Twins Studies

Press Release of the Society of Personality and Social Psychology

©Mary M Conneely T/A Advocacy in Action